Does Your Life Need Fixing?

No matter how "out-of-whack" your life seems to be, it can be fixed so that it is
functional again. I firmly believe that. Just as a broken-down car can be made roadworthy again, so your life can be made to work again.

Simple Guidelines

As with any other kind of repairs, there are some simple rules:

1. Take full responsibility. Don't waste time blaming other people for the mess your life is in. Decide right now: Are you only the victim of other people, and of some strange power they have over your life? Or do you have the ability to make your own choices and take action?.

2. In taking responsibility, don't waste time blaming yourself and listing all the wrong choices you've ever made. Every living creature makes mistakes and wrong choices. Sometimes we simply act out of ignorance, not understanding the full impact our actions will have on others — and on our own future. Sometimes we do know right from wrong, and choose to do the wrong thing anyway. Welcome to the human race. To make wrong choices along the way is human.

3. Understand the power of ideas, words, choices, and actions. What you think about people, about yourself, and about life makes a big difference. People often succeed in life not according to how much money or power they have, but because of how they see themselves and the world. Many "rich" people "assume" that they will succeed, and so they often do. And whenever they fail, they become determined (they get mad) and try again, because they refuse to accept ultimate failure as an option. Many "poor" people give up right away when they experience small failures along the way, because they assume they're going to fail anyway. On the other hand, many, many, many folks who were born and raised as "poor people" achieve great
things and become very, very successful. Why? Because they refused to see themselves as ultimate failures.

4. Any repair involves creative problem-solving: the kind that every human being is born with. What sets us apart from all the other species of life on earth is our ability to keep working at a problem until we finally figure it out. We're not the only intelligent species. Many other creatures exhibit the ability to learn and even solve problems. But we are the best at the task. Creative problem-solving is what we're famous for.(Just ask us.) And that's a good thing, because we often make a mess of things first,and then we have to figure out how to correct the problems we created.

5. The goal is to solve the problem, not to simply say that we tried (and failed). Fixing anything involves effort. When we get an idea of how to fix this or that, we must then act on it to see if it works. Until we take action, until we put forth the effort needed, nothing gets fixed. Every problem waits for us to apply the solution. If our first ideas don't work, then we need to adjust our ideas, based on what we learned in earlier attempts, and try a new approach.

6. Every problem has at least one truly good solution. Every failed attempt at finding a good solution is worthwhile if we gain more understanding of the problem. Every life can be made to work better as long as we're still breathing and willing to make the repairs. The fact that you may have failed, so far, in working things out does not mean that you will continue to fail. You are closer to finding the answer now than you have ever been.

7. If a thing (anything, at all) is worth doing, then it is worth doing — so do it. Every goal that makes things better is worth reaching. The very best goals are those which benefit everyone, or at least those around you. But even if it seems that only one life is made whole again by reaching your goal, and even if that one life is yours, then the goal is worth every effort put into it. Repairing a human life is the best goal of all.

8. Every day spent on reaching the goal of fixing your life is a good day, a day well spent. Some days may show little or no discernable progress. That doesn't matter, so long as the day was spent doing what must be done to reach the goal. If all you do today is dig a ditch, or haul garbage to the dump, or build a fence, or wash dishes, or mop floors, then the day is a great day so long as that work is helping to bring you closer to the goal of getting your life back in shape.

9. Keep a written record or scrapbook of your progress. If you can't write, then draw a simple picture of every step you take in reaching your goal. Record every success. Make a journal that you can go over when things get you down. And things will get you down, now and then. So prepare now for the days when things seem to be going backwards. There are days when it's hard to tell if we are doing the right thing or not. Everyone faces days like that. But if you're still working at making your life whole again, then you're still on the right track.

10. Grasp the importance of joy, honest celebration, and real gratitude. Joy and celebration do not come in a bottle, in a pouch, or in a pill. Real joy is far superior to the artificial high offered by alcohol, stimulants or drugs. Real celebration comes when a person learns to recognize the good things in life. Gratitude for good things is an important part of any meaningful life. When repairing a car, one does not rip out all the parts that work properly. In our lives, we must acknowledge what is good and right in order to properly single out things that need fixing. Be thankful. Celebrate your victories, even when they seem small. Allow joy to overcome discouragements and delusions of failure.


Allow Others to Misunderstand

Life is complex and most of us have lives that are interwoven with many others. Don’t be discouraged, shocked or upset when family or friends seem to reject the efforts you put into fixing your life. Some people may feel threatened by the improvements you're making. If they've given up all hope, for example, in repairing their own lives, they won't want anyone else to “show them up” or make them feel guilty for not trying. Even successful people are sometimes made jealous by the success of others (as though you must stay down in order for them to stay on top).

And to be fair, people may not know they can believe you this time, if you've promised before to do better. Be prepared for mixed reactions.

Most people simply don’t understand when they see someone making big changes in their lives. And some folks just find it hard to believe anything truly “good” can ever happen to anyone they know. This is common to human nature. It means nothing at all, except that you may not find much encouragement from those you know and care about.

Be patient with them. They will usually begin to come around once they see lasting changes in your life. Those who may seem to be against you at first often become your biggest cheering section later on. Give it time. After all, no one is perfect.


Placing Things In Perspective

Every human life is important. There are good things in this world that only you can do, and right things that only you can accomplish. The world needs your success. For example, other people will be inspired when they see you turning things around in your life. But the biggest and most important reason for positive change in your life is you. Do it for yourself.

No matter who or what seems to stand against you, keep going. It may truly seem at times that God Himself is against you. But God never stops anyone from making things right in their hearts, minds and lives. Don’t allow frustrations, small (or even big) disappointments, economics, or anything else to keep you from going forward. Choose each day to do the right thing, no matter what life seems to throw at you.

by:Jim Sutton

Remember the Acorn

An acorn has no idea about how to
become an oak. It has never been to
school or told by the other seeds how a
seedling develops into an oak tree. That
acorn could never so much as describe an
oak, even if it should somehow talk. But
deep inside the acorn's heart is something
powerful — something that presses
forward and ever upward. When placed in
the proper surroundings, the acorn will
literally burst open, unable to contain all
the potential that lives deep in its heart. As
the acorn continues to follow the design
already inside, it continues to grow and
become stronger. Soon it's a sapling
instead of a mere seed. Then it grows
taller, but is still just a slender tree. But
one day, it finally becomes what was deep
inside of it all along: a stout and mighty
oak. It's true that some acorns get a later
start than others. Some will wait for many
seasons before they finally begin to grow.
But even a late start cannot hinder the
perfect design and purpose placed inside
every acorn by God Himself.
— Jim Sutton

What is Happy, Anyway?

Life is worth the living. No matter how
many difficulties we face. Most of us
understand that, somewhere deep inside.
But anyone can get off track, from time to
time. For example, if we can't have what
we want (whatever that may be) then we
sometimes lose sight of reality, the bigger
picture, focusing only on the one sparkly
trinket we can't seem to get hold of.
It's good in all such cases to step back,
take a big breath, and shake out our
thoughts until reality can be once again
clearly seen.

Are you all bent out of shape with some
object of desire you can't seem to reach?
Why not take some time off from the
chase? Why not go out and take a long
walk? Buy yourself a giant puzzle, adopt a
dog, or buy a bicycle. Take up a new
learning challenge. Do something really
nice for someone you don't really like —
better yet for someone you don't even
know, for someone who can never pay you
back.

Doing these things may not make you
happy. But that's not the point. The point is
much simpler than that. The point, my
friend, is to get on with life. Don't lose
sight of the great gifts God has already
given you. The world around you is filled
with great and endless opportunities for
life. Why not drink deeply while you can?


— Jim Sutton

Women Do THIS Better Than Men

When it comes to remembering the appearance of other people, women excel. That's the word from researchers at The Ohio State University in Columbus, who conducted five separate studies and concluded that women have a better "appearance memory" than men.

The gender difference was not extraordinarily great, but it did show that women are superior to men in interpersonal sensitivity, concluded Terrence Horgan, lead study author and a research fellow in psychology at OSU. "Women have an advantage when it comes to remembering things like the physical features, clothing, and postures of other people," he told Science Daily. "This advantage might be due to women being slightly more people-oriented than men are."

The study also found that both men and women did better at remembering the appearance of women than they did remembering how men looked.

The five studies: In two of the five studies, college students were asked to view videotapes and slides of people talking about themselves or interacting with others. The participants were told in advance that they would be questioned about the people they viewed. They were asked to recall specific details about the people they had seen, including eye color, jewelry, the pattern of a sweater, and if a person had his or her arms crossed. In the other three studies, the participants interacted with each other instead of viewing slides and were not told in advance how they would be tested.

The results: In four of the five studies, women were more accurate than men in describing their partners. (In the fifth study, men and women came out equal in their appearance memory.) In addition, participants of both genders were more accurate in their descriptions when their partners were women than when the partners were men, reports Science Daily. Horgan speculates that women are more memorable because their hair, clothing styles, and jewelry are more varied than that of men.

Why do women have a superior appearance memory? "We really don't know for sure why women have an advantage at remembering how others look," Horgan admitted. "But these results go along with studies that show women are better than men in other areas having to do with interpersonal sensitivity."

What are the real-world implications? "We use appearance cues to categorize individuals, to help us understand them," explained Horgan. "This helps us to interact better with others. Focusing on others' appearance is an important part of our everyday interactions," he said.

The study findings were published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology B