Does Your Life Need Fixing?

No matter how "out-of-whack" your life seems to be, it can be fixed so that it is
functional again. I firmly believe that. Just as a broken-down car can be made roadworthy again, so your life can be made to work again.

Simple Guidelines

As with any other kind of repairs, there are some simple rules:

1. Take full responsibility. Don't waste time blaming other people for the mess your life is in. Decide right now: Are you only the victim of other people, and of some strange power they have over your life? Or do you have the ability to make your own choices and take action?.

2. In taking responsibility, don't waste time blaming yourself and listing all the wrong choices you've ever made. Every living creature makes mistakes and wrong choices. Sometimes we simply act out of ignorance, not understanding the full impact our actions will have on others — and on our own future. Sometimes we do know right from wrong, and choose to do the wrong thing anyway. Welcome to the human race. To make wrong choices along the way is human.

3. Understand the power of ideas, words, choices, and actions. What you think about people, about yourself, and about life makes a big difference. People often succeed in life not according to how much money or power they have, but because of how they see themselves and the world. Many "rich" people "assume" that they will succeed, and so they often do. And whenever they fail, they become determined (they get mad) and try again, because they refuse to accept ultimate failure as an option. Many "poor" people give up right away when they experience small failures along the way, because they assume they're going to fail anyway. On the other hand, many, many, many folks who were born and raised as "poor people" achieve great
things and become very, very successful. Why? Because they refused to see themselves as ultimate failures.

4. Any repair involves creative problem-solving: the kind that every human being is born with. What sets us apart from all the other species of life on earth is our ability to keep working at a problem until we finally figure it out. We're not the only intelligent species. Many other creatures exhibit the ability to learn and even solve problems. But we are the best at the task. Creative problem-solving is what we're famous for.(Just ask us.) And that's a good thing, because we often make a mess of things first,and then we have to figure out how to correct the problems we created.

5. The goal is to solve the problem, not to simply say that we tried (and failed). Fixing anything involves effort. When we get an idea of how to fix this or that, we must then act on it to see if it works. Until we take action, until we put forth the effort needed, nothing gets fixed. Every problem waits for us to apply the solution. If our first ideas don't work, then we need to adjust our ideas, based on what we learned in earlier attempts, and try a new approach.

6. Every problem has at least one truly good solution. Every failed attempt at finding a good solution is worthwhile if we gain more understanding of the problem. Every life can be made to work better as long as we're still breathing and willing to make the repairs. The fact that you may have failed, so far, in working things out does not mean that you will continue to fail. You are closer to finding the answer now than you have ever been.

7. If a thing (anything, at all) is worth doing, then it is worth doing — so do it. Every goal that makes things better is worth reaching. The very best goals are those which benefit everyone, or at least those around you. But even if it seems that only one life is made whole again by reaching your goal, and even if that one life is yours, then the goal is worth every effort put into it. Repairing a human life is the best goal of all.

8. Every day spent on reaching the goal of fixing your life is a good day, a day well spent. Some days may show little or no discernable progress. That doesn't matter, so long as the day was spent doing what must be done to reach the goal. If all you do today is dig a ditch, or haul garbage to the dump, or build a fence, or wash dishes, or mop floors, then the day is a great day so long as that work is helping to bring you closer to the goal of getting your life back in shape.

9. Keep a written record or scrapbook of your progress. If you can't write, then draw a simple picture of every step you take in reaching your goal. Record every success. Make a journal that you can go over when things get you down. And things will get you down, now and then. So prepare now for the days when things seem to be going backwards. There are days when it's hard to tell if we are doing the right thing or not. Everyone faces days like that. But if you're still working at making your life whole again, then you're still on the right track.

10. Grasp the importance of joy, honest celebration, and real gratitude. Joy and celebration do not come in a bottle, in a pouch, or in a pill. Real joy is far superior to the artificial high offered by alcohol, stimulants or drugs. Real celebration comes when a person learns to recognize the good things in life. Gratitude for good things is an important part of any meaningful life. When repairing a car, one does not rip out all the parts that work properly. In our lives, we must acknowledge what is good and right in order to properly single out things that need fixing. Be thankful. Celebrate your victories, even when they seem small. Allow joy to overcome discouragements and delusions of failure.


Allow Others to Misunderstand

Life is complex and most of us have lives that are interwoven with many others. Don’t be discouraged, shocked or upset when family or friends seem to reject the efforts you put into fixing your life. Some people may feel threatened by the improvements you're making. If they've given up all hope, for example, in repairing their own lives, they won't want anyone else to “show them up” or make them feel guilty for not trying. Even successful people are sometimes made jealous by the success of others (as though you must stay down in order for them to stay on top).

And to be fair, people may not know they can believe you this time, if you've promised before to do better. Be prepared for mixed reactions.

Most people simply don’t understand when they see someone making big changes in their lives. And some folks just find it hard to believe anything truly “good” can ever happen to anyone they know. This is common to human nature. It means nothing at all, except that you may not find much encouragement from those you know and care about.

Be patient with them. They will usually begin to come around once they see lasting changes in your life. Those who may seem to be against you at first often become your biggest cheering section later on. Give it time. After all, no one is perfect.


Placing Things In Perspective

Every human life is important. There are good things in this world that only you can do, and right things that only you can accomplish. The world needs your success. For example, other people will be inspired when they see you turning things around in your life. But the biggest and most important reason for positive change in your life is you. Do it for yourself.

No matter who or what seems to stand against you, keep going. It may truly seem at times that God Himself is against you. But God never stops anyone from making things right in their hearts, minds and lives. Don’t allow frustrations, small (or even big) disappointments, economics, or anything else to keep you from going forward. Choose each day to do the right thing, no matter what life seems to throw at you.

by:Jim Sutton

Remember the Acorn

An acorn has no idea about how to
become an oak. It has never been to
school or told by the other seeds how a
seedling develops into an oak tree. That
acorn could never so much as describe an
oak, even if it should somehow talk. But
deep inside the acorn's heart is something
powerful — something that presses
forward and ever upward. When placed in
the proper surroundings, the acorn will
literally burst open, unable to contain all
the potential that lives deep in its heart. As
the acorn continues to follow the design
already inside, it continues to grow and
become stronger. Soon it's a sapling
instead of a mere seed. Then it grows
taller, but is still just a slender tree. But
one day, it finally becomes what was deep
inside of it all along: a stout and mighty
oak. It's true that some acorns get a later
start than others. Some will wait for many
seasons before they finally begin to grow.
But even a late start cannot hinder the
perfect design and purpose placed inside
every acorn by God Himself.
— Jim Sutton

What is Happy, Anyway?

Life is worth the living. No matter how
many difficulties we face. Most of us
understand that, somewhere deep inside.
But anyone can get off track, from time to
time. For example, if we can't have what
we want (whatever that may be) then we
sometimes lose sight of reality, the bigger
picture, focusing only on the one sparkly
trinket we can't seem to get hold of.
It's good in all such cases to step back,
take a big breath, and shake out our
thoughts until reality can be once again
clearly seen.

Are you all bent out of shape with some
object of desire you can't seem to reach?
Why not take some time off from the
chase? Why not go out and take a long
walk? Buy yourself a giant puzzle, adopt a
dog, or buy a bicycle. Take up a new
learning challenge. Do something really
nice for someone you don't really like —
better yet for someone you don't even
know, for someone who can never pay you
back.

Doing these things may not make you
happy. But that's not the point. The point is
much simpler than that. The point, my
friend, is to get on with life. Don't lose
sight of the great gifts God has already
given you. The world around you is filled
with great and endless opportunities for
life. Why not drink deeply while you can?


— Jim Sutton

Women Do THIS Better Than Men

When it comes to remembering the appearance of other people, women excel. That's the word from researchers at The Ohio State University in Columbus, who conducted five separate studies and concluded that women have a better "appearance memory" than men.

The gender difference was not extraordinarily great, but it did show that women are superior to men in interpersonal sensitivity, concluded Terrence Horgan, lead study author and a research fellow in psychology at OSU. "Women have an advantage when it comes to remembering things like the physical features, clothing, and postures of other people," he told Science Daily. "This advantage might be due to women being slightly more people-oriented than men are."

The study also found that both men and women did better at remembering the appearance of women than they did remembering how men looked.

The five studies: In two of the five studies, college students were asked to view videotapes and slides of people talking about themselves or interacting with others. The participants were told in advance that they would be questioned about the people they viewed. They were asked to recall specific details about the people they had seen, including eye color, jewelry, the pattern of a sweater, and if a person had his or her arms crossed. In the other three studies, the participants interacted with each other instead of viewing slides and were not told in advance how they would be tested.

The results: In four of the five studies, women were more accurate than men in describing their partners. (In the fifth study, men and women came out equal in their appearance memory.) In addition, participants of both genders were more accurate in their descriptions when their partners were women than when the partners were men, reports Science Daily. Horgan speculates that women are more memorable because their hair, clothing styles, and jewelry are more varied than that of men.

Why do women have a superior appearance memory? "We really don't know for sure why women have an advantage at remembering how others look," Horgan admitted. "But these results go along with studies that show women are better than men in other areas having to do with interpersonal sensitivity."

What are the real-world implications? "We use appearance cues to categorize individuals, to help us understand them," explained Horgan. "This helps us to interact better with others. Focusing on others' appearance is an important part of our everyday interactions," he said.

The study findings were published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology B

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo.
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.
3. How cute they look when they sleep.
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms.
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.
6. How cute they are when they eat.
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth.
11. How cute they are when they argue.
12. The way her hand always finds yours.
13. The way they smile.
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them.
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".
18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt 22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!
22. The way they say "I miss you".
23. The way you miss them.
24. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

David Gray lyrics

This Year's Love lyrics

This year's love had better last

Heaven knows it's high time

I've been waiting on my own too long

When ya hold me like you do

It feels so right, oh now

I start to forget

How my heart gets torn

When that hurt gets flowin

Feeling like ya can't go on

Turning circles and time again

It cut like a knife oh now

If ya love me, got to know for sure

Cause it takes something more this time

Than sweet, sweet lies

Before I open up my arms and fall

Losing all control

Every dream inside my soul

When ya kiss me

On that midnight street

Sweep me off my feet

Singing ain't this life so sweet

This year's love had better last

This year's love had better last

Cause who's to worry

If our hearts get torn

When that hurt gets flowin

Don't ya know this life goes on

Won't ya kiss me

On that midnight street

Sweep me off my feet

Singing ain't this life so sweet

This year's love had better last

This year's love had better last

This year's love had better last

This year's love had better last

~KISAH DI TANJUNG RAMBUTAN~

LAMPU SULUH

Kisah ini adalah berkenaan Orang Sakit Mental di Hospital Bahagia Tanjung Rambutan.Ahmad telah menjalani rawatan hampir 5 tahun di Hospital Bahagia. Dan melalui pemeriksaan yang dijalankan menunjukkan Ahmad dah makin pulih. Dan Dr buat keputusan untuk benarkan Ahmad pulang. Ahmad dipanggil untuk pemeriksaan terakhir. "Ahmad saya nak tanya satu soalan sebelum saya benarkan Ahmad pulang. Kalau Ahmad jawab eluk saya benarkan Ahmad pulang..

kalau tidak Ahmad akan tunggu sini sedikit masa lagi" Terang Doktor pada Ahmad. "Baik Doktor Ahmad sedia menjawab" jawab Ahmad dengan tenang. Doktor mengambil Lampu suluh dan menyalakannya..dan dihalakan ke dinding..(cahaya lampu tersebut berbentuk bulat didinding bilik Doktor).

"Awak nampak cahaya tu" tanya Doktor

"Nampak Doktor" jawab Ahmad tersenyum.

"Awak panjat dan tangkap cahaya tu Ahmad" arah Doktor tu pada Ahmad.

"Kat Dinding tu?" tanya Ahmad tersenyum.

"Ye laaa" jawab Doktor.

"Hi hi hi saya tak gila lah Doktor......tak nak lah saya buat.." jawab Ahmad

"mm..oklah Ahmad..awak dibebaskan hari ini...awak lulus ujian saya.."Doktor berpuas hati. Ahmad pun keluar dengan bag nya diiringi oleh pembantu kesihatan ke pintu gate.

"Tunggu tunggu Ahmad" Doktor memanggil balik Ahmad.

"Kenapa Ahmad tak nak panjat dinding tu Ahmad?" tanya Doktor tu sebagai soalan terakhir.

"Hi hi hi...Doktor ingat saya bodoh ker Doktor.....kalau saya panjat.....saya pegang cahaya tu....Doktor tutup lampu suluh tu nanti..tentu saya akan terjatuh..."jawab Ahmad selamba

"mm..Ahmad tidur sini setahun lagi lah yer Ahmad" kata Doktor pada Ahmad.

"Baik nya doktor....." sukanya hati Ahmad.






KUTIP RAMBUTAN

Aku mengikuti latihan induksi sebulan di Tg Rambutan sebelum masuk bekerja di Hospital. Aku suka berjogging didalam kawasan Tg Rambutan yang segar dan luas itu. Aku suka memerhati perangai Orang gila yang di biarkan merayau di sekitar dalam kawasan tersebut. Biasanya yang dibiarkan keluar dah pandai bedikari.

Aku perhatikan satu pesakit sedang mengutip buah rambutan dibawah pokok rambutan yang rendang dan lebat buahnya.

Aku tegurnya..."Kenapa Abang kutip buah yang kat bawah tu..kan ada lagi buah kat atas pokok tu..."

"Doktor ulang lagi sekali pertanyaan Doktor tu" tanya pesakit tersebut sambil memasukkan buah rambutan yang dikutip.

Aku pun ulangkan lagi.." kenapa kutip buah tu......kan kat atas pokok banyak lagi"

"Apa lah doktor ni..kalau atas pokok kita kena kait dengan galah bukan boleh kutip...kat bawah bolehlah kutip.."selambanya dia jawab kat aku.

Aku terpinga pinga.....malupun ada jugak Dia datang dekat aku...."minta 20 sen!!"

Ku pun hulurkan RM 1 dengan ikhlas. "Ngaji jer pandai...seringgit dengan 20 sen pun tak kenal....kait dengan kutip pun tak tahu....Doktor jadi macam saya ni..makan pun free kat sini..tak payah ngaji pun..." leter pesakit sambil berlalu setelah ambik duit aku.

Ahazzzz...terkena aku ngan pesakit tu....

Photos that touched our hearts (or should have)

Photo 1: Together, through Warm and Cold

(Photographer: An Hejie. Market Place, Town of Chifeng, Inner Mongolia)

Beyond the northern (Inner Mongolia) frontier, spring has arrived but the cold weather lingered on. Snow fell on this April morning. Flakes danced in the sky. A middle-aged man tended to his cart, on which sat a little boy, wrapped up with blanket used to keep the vegetables from freezing. From time to time, the father would tuck at the blanket to make sure that his son was all right. These are the words from the photographer: “Set in the dark and shadowy background and the dancing snow flakes, the pink puffy face of the little boy stood out in great contrast to that of the father which was apparently shaped by the caprices of life. And life was indeed harsh. Father and son only have each other for support. When the father yelled out a sales pitch on top of his voice, his facial expression was shockingly touching. One cannot help but be moved.”

Photo 2: Love

The father and his son live in an impoverished hilly area. They demand nothing but a piece of land to call their own. Perhaps they will not have a chance to see the outside world all their lives -- they will not know what a staircase is, they will never ride in a taxi, nor will they ever step into a movie theater. But the truth is these are the people who offer us everything our lives depend on, generation after generation. The heaven and earth have nothing to repay them. Love them! At least respect them in your heart. Otherwise how can we possibly talk about ourselves as human beings?

Photo 3: Grandpa’s Tears

(Caption on the photo: That day, we found that we were able to attend school. We were so happy. But grandpa cried. Do you understand? The tears of an elderly man...)

Photo 4: Amidst Rain and Wind

Your elderly mother and little children are waiting for you to come home with the day’s wages.

Photo 5:

Old Man CryingThe old man sells roast yam for a living. Because he doesn’t have a license, his tools were confiscated and his tricycle was smashed, its chain cut. All the old man can do is to sit there and cry. Tomorrow…







Photo 6: Mothers’Love Mothers and their child. This is life…

Photo 7:

Coal CarrierWang Zhizhong worked as a coal carrier. Carrying a basket of coal weighting 40kg (88 lb), he made his way up a 100m deep mine, and then walked a distance of 1000m along a mountainous track. For each trip, he made 1RMB (0.125 USD). He was 17.

Photo 8:

I want go to school Caption on the photo: That day the English teacher arrived in our village. She taught us our very first sentence in English: “I want go to school.” Did you hear it? It is a most heart-moving cry.

Photo 9: Democracy and The Legal System

We must admit that there are people still living within the blind spot of our society. What if you were one of them?
(The title of the magazine: Democracy and the Legal System)

Photo 10: The Meaning of Love

No rose, no diamond ring, but if this is not love, what is love?
With enthusiasm, love your life! Love the people around you!

Touched

This poem once touched my heart when she told me her feelings toward me. But somehow we not mean together:

“So many times,
I thought I hold it in my hand,
But just like grains of sands
Love slips through my fingers
So many nights,
I ask the lord above,
Pls make me lucky enough,
To find the love that lingers,
Something keeps telling me,
That you could be my answer prayer,
U must be heaven’s sent,
I swear….”

Women

If you kiss her, you are not gentlemen
If you don’t, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you agree with all her likes, she is abusing
If you don’t, you are not understanding
If you make romance, you an ‘experience’ man
If you don’t you are half a man
If you visit her too often, she thinks it’s boring
If you don’t, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don’t you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it’s bad
If you don’t, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn’t respect her
If you don’t, she thinks you do not love her
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait
If she is late, she says that it’s a girl’s way
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a feel
If she visited by another, “oh it’s natural, we are girls”
If you kiss her once too many, she yells that you’re taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing a street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it’s just one of the man’s ethics
If you stare at by another, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared at by another, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

Oh god, you created those creature called women
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful,

So confusing, yet so desirable…………..

Valentine Girl's

There’s not a star in the sky,
That could equal to the sparkle in your eyes,
This heart is only one way,
To let you know just how I feel,
Will you be my valentine girl?
And gave you my heart forever,
Be my valentine girl,
And I won’t let you go no never,
Although a flower I see,
Could never take the place of being there,
Although we’re only just met,
You’re everything to me,
Will you be my valentine girl.

by: bernt